Pornography, Why, When You Have a Partner?
Why would someone turn to pornography when there are live and warm partners available with whom they can have sexual relations? Although it's possible to argue that not everyone has a partner, the fact is that even married people and those who are in relationships, turn to pornography.
The answer to this question is complicated. What is true for one person may not be true for another. First, it's important to have a definition of what porn is. According to Webster's Dictionary, pornography is "the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement." http It should not be necessary to point out that the aroused sexual excitement ends in masturbation.
Some explanations:
1. Porn, a largely visual medium, parades many youthful and attractive partners, and provides physical gratification without commitment or encumbering relationships.
2. Some studies show that interest in pornography has more to do with viewing sexual images that are novel and has nothing to do with the attraction they feel for their partner.
3. According to an article in WebMD "Men are pretty much hard wired to like watching or reading about other people having sex. According to this explanation, evolution has made men ready to have sex at anytime as a way of impregnating women so as to continue the human race.
4. By far, the largest number of people who watch porn are men. It is possible that some of these men identify with doing things through viewing the pornographic material that they may be too ashamed to do with their partners in real life. This sense of embarrassment and shame about these fantasies is why so many men keep their pornographic interests secret.
5. For some, it may feel easier to please one's self than having to work at pleasing the other. There is a certain amount of selfishness to this as well as narcissism. After all, the focus becomes "me" rather than "her." In addition, there may even be fear about the ability to please the other. In this way, pornography is easy. Masturbation is done in isolation with the focus on the self. Couples and Individual counseling is available for this.. Contact Dr. Schwartz at: [email protected]
6. According to Robert Stoller, one of the great psychoanalysts of the twentieth century pornography is a kind of fetish. A sexual fetish involves having a sexual reaction to a non-human object or a part of a human being’s body. Such an erotic arousal might occur in relation to such things as shoes, underwear, feet, etc. In this way, pornography can be categorized as a fetish in that the images that are being viewed are not alive. They do not involve interacting with a real human being.
7. Stoller also talks about what is called the "Whore/Madonna complex." In this situation, some men have to separate their sexual fantasies and wishes from their wives and project them onto the pornographic screen. In other words, this type of man cannot tolerate thinking of his wife as a sexual partner, especially if she has borne him a child. These types of men must view their wives as pure and innocent. Of course what sometimes happens in this psychological scenario is that sexual relations diminish or end after the birth of the first child. His thinking would be exemplified by: "how can I have sex with someone's mother, especially the mother of my child."
If your relationship is being threatened by viewing pornography, couples or individual therapy and counseling is available. Please contact Dr. Schwartz at: [email protected] or by telephone at: 720-470-2028.